The Truth

I have no pictures for you this week, apologies.  This week I'm going to break the pattern of giving a weekly overview.  Instead, there's something that's been laid on my heart that I need to share.
Thus far, I've been giving an insight to the highlights of each week.  These highlights have also been the high points of the weeks, each event being something positive or at least amusing.  I feel that I've been portraying the Ranch, or rather my experiences, in a false light by doing so.  This trip has not been mere fun and games, each day is a new experience filled with struggles and growth.
I realized a couple of weeks back that I've excluded my strength from my blog entries.  I've not shared about the mornings before breakfast where I'm in tears praying for strength, when I'm talking to God, asking for blessings upon each miraculous child who lives here.  I've neglected to even hint at the afternoons when I'd finished class and would run to my room fighting tears from frustration and truly believing that I could not possibly succeed in teaching one more class.  I've not effectively conveyed how grateful I am for having Krista, Vicki, and Angie here to help me out when I feel completely at a loss.  It's time I did so.
I have no doubts that the Lord is working here every day, nor can I possibly wonder if I really wasn't meant to come to Refuge Ranch.  In the mere two months that I've been here, God has done so much in my life.  He started my first Sunday, the church had made August the official month of families.  A homesick girl hearing about the family God wants us to have, it was a painful service, but it did start my growth.  Since that point, God's reminded me that I'm His.  He's revealed to me that I actually matter, that He's always with me, giving me the strength I need.  I've felt true freedom, and I've been given a desire to keep stretching my comfort zone! I will never forget the mornings when I would get lost in singing and suddenly I'd have a group of kids standing by the school looking at me.
Even on the roughest of days, God's given me what I've needed.  The second or third day of Kindergarten, I gave up.  I literally got up, we still had at least 30 minutes of class, and I walked into my room, collapsed on my bed and wept.  Vicki and Krista were both in the room, and before I knew it I was being held and prayed over.  I received words from both young women, words that reminded me I could teach Kindergarten, somehow.  English, while I love to teach the children, has been a real struggle as well.  Yet without fail, God have given me patience.  I can somehow get through each class without yelling.  Sometimes I lose patience, but I've definitely grown in my tolerance.  I've begun to notice that even after a bad day, when I do discipline a child, it's out of a need to get the class back on track and not so much out of frustration or anger.
I keep hearing from Mireya, Julie, and others, how I have so much patience, and that they thank God for sending me.  Truth be told, I thank Him daily too, because I can't imagine trying to figure out everything He's revealed to me while living on campus and attending classes.  I've heard Him more this year than in my first 18 years combined.  It was wrong of me to try to keep His works out of this blog, and so here you have the truth of my stay here.